


THE OTHER DREAMERS, PART 2: DREAM A LITTLE DREAM OF ME

by mabb5



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-05
Updated: 2012-03-05
Packaged: 2017-11-01 12:54:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/357021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mabb5/pseuds/mabb5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As the Enterprise E is being repaired after their encounter with the Borg Queen in Earth's past, Jean-Luc gets a chance to solve an archaeological mystery about a sublight space ship. That came from Kataan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	THE OTHER DREAMERS, PART 2: DREAM A LITTLE DREAM OF ME

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know taking on the iconic "Inner Light" is somewhat foolish. It was indeed one of the best ST episodes ever done. And it deserved its Hugo. If only the Emmys had recognized its greatness as well. But once I got bit by the 'what if?' bug, I wondered if it was possible for Jean-Luc to reunite with Eline, and yet still love Beverly too. This is my attempt.
> 
> This is an original A/U and is not part of the A/U found in THE BEST LAID PLANS and THE SKY'S THE LIMIT novels.
> 
> All the usual ST disclaimers apply.
> 
> And please, any comments would be appreciated.

THE OTHER DREAMERS, PART II

(Dream a Little Dream of Me…)

A Sequel of sorts to FIRST CONTACT

"I dream in my dream all the dreams of the other dreamers.

And I become the other dreamers…"

-WALT WHITMAN, "The Sleepers"

 

=/\= =/\= =/\=

Hours later, Deanna Troi finally tracked down Picard. He was standing alone in a small, dark observation lounge near the Yamato's version of Ten Forward.

Deanna didn't need her telepathic abilities to sense that his avoidance of her had been deliberate.

"Captain?"

Deanna moved into the room, uninvited. The swishing of the door closing followed her entrance into the lounge.

For a while, he ignored her. Then, moving as if he did not wish to do so, the turned so that his profile was highlighted against the star light. Then he acknowledged his counselor's presence.

"If I close my eyes, I can almost believe that I am on board the Enterprise D. The sound of this ship's engines are so familiar…" He wrinkled his nose. "But it doesn't smell quite right." He turned his head to the left some more. "I've been officially told that there can be no odor in the recycled air. Yet every ship upon which I have ever served has had its own distinctive scent that all of the air scrubbers cannot alter."

"I was not going to disagree with you, Captain."

"Why do I have the feeling that the smell of this ship's air is the only thing upon which we will agree tonight?"

"Why are you assuming that we will be disagreeing, Captain?"

"Then, you do agree with me, Counselor?"

"About what?"

He sighed, then pulled out a chair, positioning it so that he could look at Deanna and the stars at the same time, and then sat down. He motioned for Deanna to do the same.

It took a few more seconds before Troi was settled. Then she repeated her question, using the same soft, understanding, appealing, soothing and reassuring tone of voice that Captain Picard would never openly admit annoyed the hell out of him.

He tried to be reasonable. "Counselor, you are not going to let this rest, are you?"

"Captain, you went through major emotional events of your life with the benefit…"

He interrupted her. "Counselor, most human beings do survive major emotional events all the time, by themselves."

"You were not most people then. Or now, Captain Picard." For the first time, Deanna Troi displayed a bit of her temper. She leaned forward gripping the chair armrests. "You should have told me. I could have helped you. I had to find out the major details about your experience on Kataan from Beverly. After all that we went through with the Borg, I would have thought that you trusted me by now!"

"I do trust you, Counselor."

"Then why didn't you tell me?"

"I did not want to."

He almost chuckled as he watched her striving to keep her temper in check. "I will not deny that I had profound feelings for my life on Kataan. Within hours of my return, the form of my life reverted into its normal routine. But I had been irrevocably altered by what I'd experienced. The Kataanian probe had given me a precious gift. It was as if I had lived, in every sense of the word, another lifetime. And when it was gone, I grieved for that lifetime, yet I do not regret having experienced it."

"I had not precisely pinpointed exactly when your persona had altered, Captain. I did eventually recognize that you'd undergone a significant change in attitude." She crossed her legs and released her death grip on the arm rests before she remarked, "You hide your true emotions, very well, Captain Picard."

He ignored this barbed compliment. He wasn't about to admit how much he had learned about Vulcan mind control techniques from his mindmeld with Sarek.

"Thoughts of Eline kept me sane during the trying times of my life, Counselor. Even when Gul Madred was torturing me, the thought of revealing that life to him was anathema to me, and gave me the strength to resist."

"And that was another thing that you didn't tell me during our sessions after the Minos Korva incident."

"I saw no reason to explain in great detail every event of my life, Counselor."

She resented his dismissal of her function as if she were something to be tolerated, and not encouraged. Yet, she did understand his reasonings, so she changed her battle tactics.

"And now, Captain?"

"Meaning?"

"You are about to come face to face with the woman that has dominated your dreams for years. Most men never get to meet their actual fantasy woman. You are. And you are about to find out what she remembers of you."

He cut in, "I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard-not some foolish fantasy figure." He abruptly stood and went closer to the portal wall, turning his back on Deanna.

"Captain…"

"Counselor-of course I am anxious, nervous…" He shifted his head to briefly look at her. "I am a man who is about to meet the woman of his dreams. And my dominant feeling is one of sheer terror."

"Why?"

"What if Eline is perfect? As remarkable a woman as I remember?"

"Captain, that would not be a terrible thing."

"What if I am not?"

His questions surprised her. "Not, what?"

"The man of Eline's dreams, Counselor."

"Oh." Deanna stood and went to join him. She lightly rested her hand on his shoulder, offering him the comfort of a warm, human physical contact-not bloodless fabrication from someone else's mind.

"Thank you, Deanna…" she thought she heard him whisper.

For a while, they simply stood there, looking at the moons and the stars beyond. Tentatively, as if she didn't really wish to break their current accord, she asked, "If the Administrator is to be believed, Eline willingly participated in her interrelation with you, Captain." She dared to ask the next question. "Did you love, Eline?" She had to wait a few moments before his head moved in assent. "Did Eline love you?"

"Sometimes, Eline would call me my darling."

"I see." She took a deep breath, shuddered to think of what she would sense next, and then went on to the questions that she knew her captain would not wish to answer.

"Did you become lovers immediately?"

He glared at her, somewhat exasperated by her ability to bedevil him. "Counselor, why do Betazed counselors always ask endless questions about sex? Have you no other interests?"

She calmly returned his glare, ignoring his petulance, patiently willing to outwait him for her answer.

Knowing that he'd met an immovable force, he yielded. "No. It took five years before I was able to ask Eline to be my wife in the true sense of the word."

She sighed.

He added, "That was when we became lovers."

"Well, then, that answers your questions about Eline."

"Does it? Eline's children are her flesh and blood. Not mine. Therefore, there must have been a husband."

"Perhaps no more."

"I don't know that." He looked back at the stars. "You don't know that."

"You should have asked the Administrator that question, Captain. He did give you the chance to do so."

"I will not have my private life turned into a topic of discussion at a Starfleet meeting!"

"It already is, Captain."

"But they do not know the scope of the induced life that I led. And I do not choose to provide others with the more prurient details.

Deanna stepped back into the darkness, away from the controlled anger that was emanating from this man. "What if Eline feels the same way about you as you do about her?"

He spun around, his temper adding an energy to his words. "Counselor! You presume too much!"

"No, Captain. I don't."

"And just precisely what do I feel about the lady, Counselor? Do you actually believe that I could so deeply love a woman that in this reality was only ephemeron? Could I really love a woman based solely upon a relationship that lasted but thirty minutes of Starfleet Standard time?"

Deanna briefly recollected how quickly she had fallen in love with a young lieutenant many years ago. Even then, she had known that such instantaneous loving was possible. She knew what answer to give to her captain.

"Love is not determined by how long you have known someone, Captain. It sometimes can happen in a single instant that will endure forever. But you already know that. You just don't care to admit it."

Captain Picard knew something about tactics too. He tried one. "And then, there is Dr. Crusher."

He surprised her. She had not thought that he would bring up this topic for discussion.

"Meaning?"

"Beverly is not a fantasy figure. She is flesh and blood."

"And heart," Deanna whispered in agreement.

"And my feelings are as substantive for her as they are questionable for a woman that I have only met in my dreams."

"You've spent many years refusing to deal with your feelings for Dr. Crusher."

He glowered at her. "Counselor, much as you might wish to simplify my relationship into the common denominator of the male/female bond, you know as well as I do that there have been many other factors influencing my connection with Dr. Crusher."

"Well, Eline is not an officer under your command."

"And I am not just a simple iron weaver from Ressik," he snapped back.

"So, you would refute a woman who was once your wife, who had born your children?" She knew that this wasn't a fair question, but then, her captain hadn't been playing fairly lately either.

"Counselor!" He rebuked her. "I will assist Eline and her family to the best of my ability, provided that they are successfully revived, of course."

"Of course… But can you successfully distance yourself from what they once meant to you?"

"Certainly." His stance stiffened; his attitude became more forbidding.

It was as if he had shuttered every door and window to his heart and soul.

Deanna decided that she had taxed him enough for now.

"Now what?"

Startled by this question, he scowled into the darkness again. He did not care for her attitude even though he knew that she was in the right of it. Before he responded, he pulled his mantle of captainly authority even more firmly about his shoulders. "I will assess each situation as it arises."

"Dismissed…" she muttered under her breath.

He heard her, and was somewhat flabbergasted by her attitude. "Indeed, Counselor. Dismissed."

Knowing that she had pushed him far enough, she backed away until she reached the door. It slid open. But she did have to get in the last word.

"Captain."

"What?" His stared remained fixed on the stars.

"Follow your heart. It is a goodly one, you know…" She slipped through the door before he could think of a rebuttal.

=/\=

During the next few days, Captain Jean-Luc Picard got a few answers to his many questions as the Kataanians were revived with the assistance of their Administrator, on board the Yamato.

In Sickbay, the baby Kamin, was one of the first to be revived. When he regained consciousness, he squalled. And no one could soothe him until Captain Picard picked the baby up and comforted the baby in his arms.

Dr. Crusher watched the sight of her legendary child-hating captain holding a laughing baby against his heart. The expression on his face told her so much about what he really felt. She had to turn away to quickly wipe some tears from her cheeks as she grieved for what he had lost.

Next to be revived was Meribor, whose only concerns were for her son and her husband Danik. Though she recognized Captain Picard, she seemed uninterested in his presence. Her family came first to her.

And so it went as Dr. Crusher, Dr. Takashima and his staff slowly revived the Kataanians. There were complications with most of the resurrected people. Not everyone woke up aware of their situation, or in good health. Still of the forty-two stasis tubes that the Borg had not touched, thirty-nine Kataanians were successfully resuscitated.

During the long duty shifts that followed, Dr. Takashima did make a note in his medical log that Captain Jean-Luc Picard had ceased visiting the Sickbay after the patient 'Eline' was revived.

=/\=

Beverly Crusher was mind-numbingly tired. The past few weeks had taken its toll out of her sleep.

Starfleet had approved of all of the Enterprise E officers staying on DS 5 to help with the revival of the Kataanians, fixing up the station and colonies, and in whatever other capacity that they were needed.

Beverly Crusher had spent long hours with the Kataanians, and then, when they were no longer critical, she went down to Ladira II to help with the wounded and injured. And though none of the colonists said anything specific to her, she got the distinct impression that they were resentful that a bunch of thousand-year-old frozen stiffs got more attention and aid from the Federation than they did.

She had not socialized much with Deanna lately. Once the immediate health problems of the Kataanians had been seen to, their emotional problems had dominated, and Deanna had found herself swamped with needy people. And then she also went to help the traumatized DS 5 citizens and colonists deal with their tragedies.

And as for Data, Beverly had seen him a few days ago, being chased by DS 5 engineers who'd been waving pieces of equipment at him. Beverly could only assume that they'd found things for Data to fix.

Beverly had kept up with her daily reports, chiefly as a way to keep tabs on Captain Picard. Captain Pournelle was keeping him busy as well. In fact, he was still staying on the space station rather than coming to live on the Yamato or the Sakai.

Beverly was surprised to learn that Clair and Sonny Clemonds actually had been useful helping the Kataanians adjust. Sonny had written and performed songs about their ordeal in this ship's Ten Forward. Though the first time Beverly had heard Sonny sing, she recognized the tune as something that Jean-Luc Picard used to call 'an old folk melody'. She'd left Ten Forward and had not bothered to return.

This evening was different, however. Sickbay was down to only a few major disasters a day. And Beverly decided that it was time that Dr. Takashima regained control of his domain away from a pushy flagship CMO, so she was letting him work the next few shifts without her help. Seeking some normalcy in her life, she went to Ten Forward for dinner. She admitted to herself that she was relieved not to see a Clemonds in sight when she entered the lounge.

Ordering a synthale, a spinach salad and some stew, she chose a portal view table, and relaxed. She didn't actually notice Deanna's approach until a waiter showed up serving two large 'bumpy road' chocolate sundaes.

"May I join you?"

"Do I know you?" Beverly teased.

"I come bearing chocolate." Deanna offered a bribe when she sat down at the café table.

"Well, since you are already sitting, and you seem to be the friendly sort, you may join me," Beverly primly replied as she silently judged just how many thousands of calories were in each dessert. And she didn't care.

"Friendly sort. I know exactly what you mean," Deanna remarked as she picked up her spoon. She looked around the lounge where everyone else seemed to be ignoring them, except the wait staff. "Everyone is nice and polite on board this ship, but they are also very busy. We are the odd men out on board the Yamato."

"Except for Data. He seems to fit in wherever he goes in Starfleet." She looked about the lounge. "Have you seen him lately?"

"No." Deanna dug her spoon into the side of her ice cream mountain. "But that's not what's on your mind. Don't you really want to ask me?"

Beverly drank her synthale before she bothered to reply. "And what would I ask?"

"I saw Captain Picard five days ago. We had an interesting conversation."

"I saw the medical logs, so I am assuming that it was a professional conversation?"

Deanna nodded her answer since her mouth was full of fudge at the moment.

Suddenly, Beverly put down her glass. "Damn…"

Deanna looked toward the direction in which Beverly was staring.

A woman was approaching them. "May I join you?" she politely asked.

"Of course," Deanna quickly replied with great enthusiasm, before Beverly could say otherwise. "Please be seated. I'd been hoping that we would get a chance for a friendly chat." She motioned toward the chair opposite from Beverly's position.

A waiter hovered nearby. Eline pointed toward Beverly's choices. "May I try some of that, please?"

"Don't forget the sundae," Deanna called out to the waiter as he was leaving.

Beverly ate her dinner in silence as Eline waited for her food. Moments later, the waiter returned and Eline tasted the stew. "Delicious!" she stated, sounding quite surprised, staring at her plate in amazement.

Deanna picked up on the lady's astonishment. "What is it?"

"This dish-it tastes exactly like a stew that I once used to cook."

Beverly closed her eyes as if to ward off what she was feeling. "It's one of Jean-Luc's favorites. He introduced it to me years ago. I got the recipe and program it into the ship's replicators wherever I am at."

For a moment, it seemed as if Eline was the one who was on the verge of tears. With sad eyes she studied Beverly Crusher as if she had many questions for the woman. Yet, she said nothing more.

Eline then tasted the salad. "This is interesting-I think." She laughed. "You don't know how strange eating feels to me. It's as if I have to relearn what I used to like to eat." She glanced about the room. "And now, there are worlds of new recipes to try."

Deanna tried to conciliate the feelings she sensed about the table. "It takes time to revive your appetite after what you've been through, Eline." Deanna was searching for a non-controversial conversation. "And there are lots of wonderful new foods for you to try."

Beverly finally decided to join in on the conversation. Perhaps the fact that Deanna had just kicked her ankle had something to do with her decision. She pointed towards Eline's ice cream Alp. "There are few women who don't really appreciate this dessert."

Surprised and somewhat pleased that the doctor was at least attempting to be sociable, Eline poked her fork into the side of the ice cream mountain, and then tasted it. She shoved aside her salad and drew the dessert closer to her place setting.

"What is this? She sounded almost awe-struck as she dug out some more of the fudge from the side.

"Chocolate," Deanna and Beverly reverently said in unison. Then Deanna giggled. Eline joined in. And though it took Beverly a few moments, she finally caved in as well.

When their conversation resumed, they became three people conversing who were about to become friends.

Still brimming with giggles, Deanna asked, "What else would you like to know about, Eline?"

"Is there anything better than this chocolate?"

Deanna's smile beamed, as she recognized a budding chocoholic. "You know, that is a philosophical discussion some people have been having for centuries."

"Truth is, the relationships in your life can come and go," Beverly stated as she finally felt as ease in Eline's company, "but good chocolate is always there."

"And there are hundreds of thousands of varieties to sample," Deanna cooed.

"Oh my, now I have something to look forward too," Eline cheerfully stated.

Beverly's smile was genuine as she agreed.

Finishing off her dessert, Eline then leaned toward Beverly and quietly asked, "There is one thing that I do not understand, Beverly."

"And that is?"

"Kamin used to talk about how having children completed his life. Yet, he has done nothing to have children and a family here in this life with his chosen woman. Why?"

Sensing Beverly's sudden dismay over this personal question about Captain Picard, Deanna quickly said, "Why are you asking this question, Eline? Generally speaking, such personal topics are left for intimate discussions between close friends before one feels free to ask about such things."

"Yes, but I am a close friend with Ka…Captain Picard," Eline protested.

Beverly's voice sounded as brittle as the fragile ice sheets of Rura Penthe, when she too-calmly asked, "Why are you asking me this question, Eline?"

"Because, when I was with Kamin, you were the one that he thought about the most."

=/\=

Captain Jean-Luc Picard's quarters had been moved to the officer's level on DS 5 after that area of the station had been repaired. He hadn't asked for this relocation. Captain Pournelle had just ordered his removal from his Spartan room on Ming.

He didn't mind. Though these new quarters were a far cry from the luxury of the guest quarters on the Yamato, or even those on board the admiral's yacht, he preferred them. He didn't have to maintain his captainly image here on the space station. The personnel were too busy to notice his actions unlike the atmosphere on board the Enterprise where every action and word were observed. Besides, he preferred the anonymity.

There was a small grey living room with a table that he could use for dinner or conferences, a work area, and a narrow, separate bedroom. A row of oval star portals ran across the entire outside wall to his quarters. He appreciated this amenity the most.

On board the space station, Captain Pournelle had not objected to his assisting with doing whatever was necessary. And just about everywhere on board the station, there was a lot that was necessary, that needed to be done. Since the Kataanian refugees were staying on board the Yamato, he was able to create semi-legitimate excuses for his avoidance of Eline and all of these inherent problems. He wasn't yet ready to confront her.

As for the other Kataanians, his only contact with them was to review the reports and interviews from other officers offering an insight now and then to their conclusions.

This past day, he had worked a double duty shift and was now ready to relax and maybe get some rest. Though his previous nightmares no longer occurred on a nightly basis, his sleep patterns were still disturbed by something.

After preparing for bed and donning a short, olive terrycloth robe, he ordered up a hot tea from his replicator and found the book of Rainier Marie Rilke's Letters to a Young Man he'd been trying to concentrate on rereading. Walking into the living room area, he placed his book and cup of Earl Grey down on the wide, portal window frame, and stood there, staring outward, listening to the magic of starsong.

A few minutes, or maybe even an hour later, he finally heard someone insistently tapping on his door.

"Enter."

Even as he said it, he knew that he should have first asked who was there.

Eline walked in.

For a moment, his reality shifted as his heart ceased pounding, and his lungs no longer breathed the air of mere mortals. He went to another place, where she was the warmth of his existence, and he could worship her.

And then, she smiled.

And everything that she had ever been to him, came back. She was still beautiful. And his heart yearned to feel the warmth of her touch once again.

Reality slowly intruded. He eventually noticed that she was wearing a dappled rose colored dress that was almost identical to the ethereal gown from his dreams. Now, was the time to ask why she had come. As if he did not know the answer in his heart of hearts…

He waited.

Yet she said nothing for a while. Instead, she took a few steps toward him and then leaned down to pick up a pair of grey leather slippers by the side of a chair.

"Some things never change…"

And it was not until he heard those words from her lips that his feelings for her and his life in Ressik crystallized into a force so powerful that he trembled from the strength of it.

"How dare you." His words were clipped. Controlled. Deadly.

Clutching his slippers against her breast as if they were a shield, she took an unsteady step closer to him.

"Dare what?"

"How dare you use me!"

"How did I do that?" Her voice was calm, as if she refused to sense what his was feeling.

"You. Your people. My life with you was nothing more than your controlled experiment for information." He struggled to maintain control over the enormity of what he was feeling.

Eline tried to plead with the man that she had once intimately known. "Is that what you think I did to you? What we did to you?"

"You knew what you were doing to me. I was not so informed." His voice dropped as he gained more control over the anger that could overwhelm him at any instant.

"How could I tell you?"

"I had questions at the beginning. You could have answered them. Instead…" He took a deep breath. "I trusted you. I believed in that life that we shared." He glared at her. "I believed in you."

"That life was real, Kamin."

"Do not call me Kamin. My name is Jean-Luc Picard."

"You forgot to call yourself 'captain'. Why?"

"You are not my ship's counselor. I do not owe you any explanation. It is the other way around…" He could not force himself to say her name aloud.

"That is why I am here." She took another baby step forward. "You loved me. You loved our children. You were a wonderful father. You were a wonderful husband and lover."

"That man was Kamin-not Jean-Luc Picard! I was a mere player upon your stage-only I was unaware of the role in which I had been cast."

Instead of reacting in kind to his anger, she sadly smiled as if she understood far too well what he was feeling. "All sound and fury… signifying nothing…"

"I would not advise misquoting Shakespeare to me," he warned.

"I cannot help it. Over the past few days, ever since you left my side after I started to regain my consciousness…" She correctly interpreted the sudden tightening of his expression. "…Yes, I did know that you were there, waiting the entire time."

"I was only doing my duty, Madam."

"Of course." She nodded as if she believed his feeble words. "As I was saying, those tyrants who are pretending to be your doctors forced me to stay in bed. I could only read while I waited…"

"And so you read Shakespeare?" For a moment, his voice sounded almost calm.

She hid her relief that he was no longer shouting at her. "Not his entire works, of course." She offered him a hint of a tentative smile. "I admired his writings. I especially enjoyed his sonnets… I have learned a great deal about the nature of mankind from your Shakespeare's works." Her voice hesitated as the expression on his face darkened. But she bravely continued, determined to reach the heart of this man once more. "I did remember a few of the quotes that you used to recited to me under the stars, in our Ressikan courtyard. So, I looked them up."

He averted his gaze from hers, as if he regretted his momentary weakening.

"I am sure that the Starfleet scientists will be fascinated to learn the extent of your race's telepathic capabilities. Just as those scientists will want to learn the degree of your skill in the manipulation of other sentient beings against their will."

Astonished by his accusations, she strove to control her burgeoning temper, too. "I will not apologize to you for loving Kamin. He was… He is a most extraordinary man."

"Yet you deliberately chose to die in his arms. For what purpose? So that you could celebrate your final deception? To quantitatively observe the depths of my grief?"

"Oh no, Kamin… Never that!" She tried to reach the man inside, the man that she had once understood so very well. "For a very long time, until I was forced by my devotion to duty to my people to leave you, Kamin was my husband in more ways than just dreams…"

"I do not believe you." His voice was cold. His eyes were colder.

"I loved you. You were my husband for a life time."

"No."

"Jean-Luc, what we shared was real-from the very beginning."

"I believe that you think that it was. That you were only following orders. That what was at first a fabricated program instead became something genuine. That your real husband will forgive you in spite of the fact that you betrayed him with your thoughts."

Rime-covered words froze her heart. She did not think that she could abide any more.

Yet, he continued. "And what of your husband? What of him?"

She took a step back, as if she needed to escape from his aura of pain. She strove to speak rationally. He did deserve answers.

"In order to become part of the scouting program, I had to agree to be separate from my husband in all things. In stasis, we were not even connected except in a communal way."

"How practical."

She refused to let him see how deeply his sarcasm could wound. Instead, she gathered up the last of her strength to continue her explanations.

"There was no way of knowing beforehand the gender of the being that our scouting probe would encounter. Those of us who had volunteered for the scouting program did not know which scenario would be activated. That is, if one would be used at all. If you had been a woman, my husband would have become your spouse."

"Practical and civilized. Remarkable."

"I think that even by your high moral standards, you are not as civilized as you believe yourself to be, Captain Picard."

He dismissed the pain that he heard laced through her words as nothing more than pretense. Now, he spoke calmly, with a cruel coldness that his senior officers would not have recognized.

"I loved you, Eline. I adored the woman that I thought you to be. You gave me a family. A glimpse of a life that I never knew I needed or wanted until you showed it to me-all the while knowing that it was false coin, that you would snatch it away from me. I was not your husband in any sense of that word. I was only your pet-a rat in a laboratory maze."

"NO!" This time, her agonized cry came straight from her heart.

He refused to hear it.

And she knew this, too. "Do you have complete control of your future here in this perfect little life of yours, Captain Picard? You have no wife, no children here. No grandson. Why is that?"

Startled by the anger that he finally heard, he stared at her for a moment as if he needed to find the proper response to her accusations.

"I am a Starfleet officer."

"And is that all that you are, Captain Jean-Luc Picard? Whatever happened to the man that I once knew who could love?"

"You never really knew him." He turned his back to her.

Yet, she was too accustomed to sharing his soul to ignore what she now felt from him. She tried to ease his pain, to comfort him.

"The Borg."

He waited a few seconds before he asked in a flat tone of voice, "What about the Borg?"

"You had so many terrible memories. All I wanted to do was to help you forget for a little while, that you were ever Locutus of Borg." She inched toward him. "And for a time, you did forget…"

His fury grew.

"The Borg had no right to take my life away from me-but they did, without my consent. Just as you did!"

She'd endured enough.

"How dare you compare us!"

And then she threw his slippers at him.

Pivoting, he was on her in tow strides, grabbing her wrist, forcing her close to him.

"Why have you really come here, Eline? What do you really want? To see if I still want you?"

She finally lost her temper, slapping his face with her free hand.

He stopped her, pulling her into an even tighter embrace.

She saw the hidden truth in his eyes…

Fire and ice, brought together by this unexpected (but predictable) contact, neither one noticed the passing of time-or the commotion coming from the hallway until Picard heard Deanna Troi's raised voice cry, "…medical emergency override…"

He let her go, and took a step away from her just as Deanna Troi and Beverly Crusher rushed into the captain's quarters, followed by two security guards.

"Your presence is not needed," he calmly adjured, as if nothing untoward had just happened.

But his CMO ignored him. She ignored his words and concentrated instead on Eline. So did Counselor Troi.

After a moment, Dr Crusher, blazing with righteous indignation turned on her captain and demanded, "Couldn't you have waited until after Eline was healthier before you had your confrontation?"

Dismayed by what her accusation could mean, he looked-really looked-at Eline. He now saw the pallor of her face, the fragility of her body. For a second he felt a crushing helplessness as he strove to find the proper words to answer the doctor's question. To explain, to absolve himself of guilt…

But Beverly was no longer paying attention to him. Instead, she scanned Eline again with her tricorder, bopped her comm badge and ordered, "Two to beam directly to Sickbay."

After they were gone, Counselor Troi silently waved the station's security guards out of the room. It wasn't until the door swished closed that Picard even noticed that they had left.

"Captain…"

"Not now, Counselor."

She politely smiled, but didn't move. "Captain, you don't have a choice." She added as if an afterthought, "Sir."

Thinking that tonight had been a night of shock upon shock capped by Counselor Troi's behavior, he warily moved about the room until he decided to sit down on a chair, in a far corner, away from her.

She countered his move by dragging a chair away from his desk, and placing it directly in front of him. She was close enough to study his expressions, but she was far enough away so that she was not invading his personal space. Yet.

"Captain, there has always been this problem between us…"

"I have noticed no such problem other than your recent propensity for insubordination."

She ignored that remark. Instead, she concentrated on what feelings she could sense from him.

Knowing what she was doing, he tried to distract her. "To what problem are you referring, Counselor?"

She continued to analyze his attitude, his tone of voice, the rigidity of his posture and the sudden shuttering of all of his emotions in her presence. She reached a conclusion.

"Captain, during the years that I have been your counselor, you have shared your more intimate thoughts with me. Pain, sorrow, pride, satisfaction, joy-many of the feelings that make you what you are."

"Meaning?"

One didn't need to be a Betazed empath to sense that her captain was not pleased with his counselor at the moment. Still, she persisted. "I have learned to respect you as an officer, as a human being and as a man."

"That respect is usually returned, Counselor."

She knew that she was a short hair's breath away from being dismissed, yet she persevered. "During all of our years together, there has always been a reserve about you, a portion of your psyche that you have never permitted me to know. And after you learned some Vulcan mind tricks, part of you became even more remote. It is as if, in the end, you somehow found me to be lacking in some way."

"That is not true." He was vehement in his denial.

"The fact that we are having this conversation proves otherwise."

"A man is entitled to the privacy of his thoughts and feelings, Counselor."

"That is not my point. Somehow, I have failed to provide you with what you needed in order to trust me."

"Nonsense."

"I have failed you, Captain."

"Counselor, I know you too well. I have observed that when you wish to indulge in bouts of self-pity, you do so with a piece of chocolate." He deliberately inspected her duty uniform before adding, "So, since there is no chocolate in sight, what is the real purpose behind your interrogation?"

She was unaccustomed to hearing such biting sarcasm from her captain, though she did grant that he'd undergone enough during the past few months to unsettle any human, and was entitled to a bit of choleric behavior.

Staring directly at him, she answered his question. "Your mind is at war with your feelings. You need to reconcile them. The sooner, the better. With or without my help."

She clutched the thin arm rails of the desk chair, momentarily wishing that she could be gripping his throat, trying to shake some common sense into him.

"And what precisely is it that I am supposed to have done?"

That did it. Now she really was annoyed by his attitude. "You were unnecessarily cruel to Eline."

He knew that she spoke the truth. But he denied it. "I only spoke the truth."

"Your truth, not Eline's."

"Enough, Counselor." He moved as if to rise.

She quickly rejoined, "I came here not because I felt your pain. That is not why Dr. Crusher dashed to your quarters with me. It was Eline's great distress that alarmed me. She came to you for understanding and you gave her none."

He raised an eyebrow as if her were questioning her counselor's judgment. "I cannot help it if she misjudged the situation."

"Don't you think that it is possible that it was the Kataanian people who misjudged the situation?"

"What?"

"The Kataanians were fighting for survival. They braved a primitive form of space travel at sublight speeds, knew that the odds were against their even being revived from stasis, and did everything they could to save themselves from extinction. What makes you think that they would have the capabilities, or even the inclination, to anticipate the wounded feelings of a sentient being that they were not even sure that they would one day ever even meet? Their only intent was to save themselves-to rebuild their society. They risked so much. What did you risk, Captain?"

Her words made horrible sense to him. His Betazed counselor did have a way of helping him form a clarity of thought, even when he didn't want to do so.

"What truly distresses me is that you felt the need to lash out at Eline. I can comprehend the basis for your anger toward the Kataanians. They did use you. But their intent was not malicious."

"Are you saying that mine was?"

She didn't wish to answer that question. But she did. "I have never known you to be deliberately cruel before."

"I…" He abruptly stood, not wanting to face her any more. Yet, the only way he could leave was to go around his counselor. There was no captain's ready room on DS 5 that he could use as a retreat from Deanna Troi. She was determined.

She stood, walking up to him, reaching to lightly touch his bare forearm.

He mildly observed, "You seem to be offering me a lot of comfort as of late, Deanna."

"You've need it." And then she dared to hug him, albeit briefly. She stepped back. "I know that you didn't mean to hurt Eline. But some internal force did drive you to do so. You have to face the reasons behind your actions."

"Counselor…" He clutched her hand for a moment. He brought it up to his lips and softly kissed her knuckles. He knew that this time he had really startled her. "…as you constantly keep telling me, I am only human. I am also flesh, blood, feelings, desires, imperfections and sins. Why are you surprised to discover that I really am only human after all?"

"Her husband…" Deanna stated an observation and not a question. Now, she felt the pain and resentment hiding within his heart. "Did you ask Eline to leave him?"

He dropped her hand in response.

"You didn't even give her a chance to make her own choice, did you? You made it for her."

He stepped back, the rapport of the previous moments disappearing. "And what decision is that, Counselor Troi? I could no more ask a wife to leave her husband than I could deliberately claim another man's children as my own."

"You are not even sure that you want Eline, are you?"

"What I would wish for, and what I would actually want have always been different things, Counselor."

He stepped up to her, and this time placed her arm through his. He guided them both to look out at the stars.

She waited for a few moments, and then began to sense the re-emergence of the soul of the man that she had come to know so well.

This time, when he looked into her eyes, he saw nothing but an understanding of what was in his heart.

He softly confessed, "I loved Eline, Deanna. I'd never known that kind of love before; so free, so giving without expectations or restraints. And my heart is burdened by the knowledge that I will never know such a love like that ever again."

"I know, Jean-Luc. I know." And she offered his her consolation, even as her heart shred his sorrow. The pain of the loss of Eline and his family was still a vivid image in his mind, not blunted but sharpened by the thoughts of their betrayal and then the knowledge that he was losing them all over again.

"Eline. Meribor. Batai. Kamin. They were once my entire life. I didn't need anything else."

"And most certainly you did not need the onerous weight of sitting in the captain's chair," she whispered. She lifted her hand to his cheek, offering him some more human comfort. For a moment he accepted it. Then she stepped away and resumed the formality of her counselor's role. "You have decided what you are going to do."

He noted the change in his counselor's attitude towards him, and was relieved that she had relented a bit.

"You already know my decision, don't you, Counselor?"

"For the first time since she'd burst into his quarters, she felt at ease enough to offer her captain an understanding smile. "Are you accusing me of knowing you too well, Captain?"

"Touché."

=/\=

Dr. Beverly Crusher was very busy at the moment, trying to determine the extent of Eline's ailments. She was too busy to give vent to her feelings at the captain who'd just boldly ventured into her domain as if he were the master of the Yamato instead of Laura Takashima.

She jerked her head toward a glass wall by a waiting area. "Over there. And stay there. Out of the way," she ordered, not caring in the slightest if she ruffled his feathers.

Not quite sure what to make of Beverly's current attitude toward him, Captain Picard obeyed the doctor and stood by the wall. Waiting. After a few minutes, he was joined by the Administrator.

"Captain."

"Administrator." Picard politely nodded toward the man. "You were summoned?"

"Not exactly, Captain. The Ressikans still have a connection with each other. I recognized that Eline was distressed by something, so I came."

Picard was dismayed to realize that other might know of his sins. Yet, he withheld expressing these feelings. Instead, he concentrated on watching what was happening beyond the glass walls in Sickbay. Then he thought of something, looking about to see if any other Kataanians would join them.

"Meribor and Batai?"

The Administrator shook his head. "Their mother would not have wished for them to come at this time. I will send for them if it becomes necessary."

"Dr. Crusher will see that it does not."

The Administrator silently accepted Picard's absolute trust in Dr. Crusher as his own.

Picard looked about again. "And Eline's husband. Where is he?"

For a second the Administrator was visibly astonished by Picard's question. Then he softly chuckled. "Why, Kamin. I thought you knew."

"Knew what?"

"Eline is my wife."

=/\=

Captain Jean-Luc Picard did not care for rattichino. He rarely drank it. He had never ordered the Ferengi version of coffee on board his Enterprise even after it became the rage. Yet, here he was, drinking it in the recently reopened Rouge Tattoo Café, located on the promenade level of DS 5. And given the current situation, he deemed the drink to be moderately acceptable. In fact, he almost liked it, not that it would ever replace his preference for Earl Grey.

He sipped the hot, creamy liquid slowly, even as he watched the woman who had insisted on ordering him this cup, drink her own rattichino. She was obviously relishing every sweetened drop of her drink.

With honey gold hair piled high on the crown of her head, wearing a brightly colored scarlet and amethyst patterned dress that flowed with her every movement, and bestowing a wonderful smile that still could light up the recesses of any darkened soul, he decided that this version of the woman who had once been his daughter was still a woman of considerable distinction.

Jean-Luc mused that she did not look a day over five hundred years old.

"You're not quite what I remember either," she finally remarked. "I liked you better in ivory or gold shirts. Why do you wear such a dull grey uniform when you can pick any color in the universe?"

He eyed the woman that he could readily recall as a young girl trailing after him on scientific expeditions, constantly pestering him with the question 'why'.

"Meribor, you are not exactly as I remember, either. Though scarlet does become you."

"Deanna warned me that you were a Frenchman. I'm beginning to understand what she meant."

"I think that my next conversation with my ship's counselor will be on my terms."

Like quicksilver, Meribor changed the tone of their conversation. "You know, I don't think that any of our scientists even thought about how our scouting probe contacts would react to having their lives invaded even if only for a little while." She finished off her drink.

Picard silently motioned to the waiter for another one.

"I was one of the driving forces behind the Ressikan committee, you know."

"Why am I not surprised?"

"And I know that I never thought about what we were doing from your perspective. We were more worried about surviving being put into stasis."

As he had done when she was a teenage chatterbox, Jean-Luc knew how to get a word in edgewise. He interrupted his daughter. "I know, Meribor. I understand." He took a deep breath before he confessed. "I didn't before. And I refused to let your mother explain it to me, even though she did try. I was not thinking with clarity at the time."

"Mother will forgive you. She always does. I've heard that you have endured a couple of distressing months what with the Borg and all. I'm sure that she'll take that into account."

Picard's smile was warm with shared remembrances. "I will apologize to Eline when her medical guardians permit me to enter sickbay to see her."

Meribor giggled. "I remember your fairy tales about a Giverny dragon. I never knew that dragons had red hair. I thought that only their breath was that color."

"Dr. Crusher can be quite ferocious at times."

"She's the lady that you love, isn't she?"

His cup rattled against the table top. "Meribor," he scolded.

"I can say what I like. I'm old enough." She grinned as she added, "I am even older than you." She picked up her refilled mug. "Besides, I am not really your daughter any more."

For a moment her words were a stab through his heart. But then he whispered, "I still wish that you were. And whether I am or am not your actual father, there are still some things, young lady, that I will not permit. Intrusion into my personal thoughts is one of them…"

She interrupted him. "I still think of you as my father. And that's why I want you to be as happy here as you were with us."

"I am happy when my ship is not being crashed into a planet or being cannibalized by malevolent pestilence. After all, look how many years it took for me to abandon the dream of the Enterprise when I lived in Ressik. Your mother was the sole reason as to why I finally relinquished my grasp on my Starfleet life."

"Yet, my mother used to think that you were one of the loneliest souls that she had ever touched."

"My choice, Meribor."

"Not a particularly smart one, especially when your lady doctor wishes otherwise."

"Meribor!"

"You were too nice a father to let you waste your life alone in this reality."

He couldn't help but smile at this absurdity. Meribor's liveliness had the effect of lifting his spirits whenever he was in her company. "I do believe that there are some members of my crew who would never refer to me as nice."

"Well, they don't know you like I do."

He was struck by the truth of her words. "That is part of the problem, isn't it? We know each other so well, yet so much of what we think that we know about each other is illusionary."

"Not all of it was wisps and fantasies. We both know what's important. And that is what truly matters. For instance…"

"What?"

Picard didn't understand the question. Though he recognized a familiar gleam in Meribor's eyes. She was about to be difficult.

"It is not your fault that the Borg found our ships. They had memories of destroying our ships from other communities." She deliberately paused before she uttered, "Father, we don't blame you."

He was stunned by her choice of names. And her insight.

She stood as if to leave, challenging him. "You are the one who controls what we do in this new life, Captain Picard. If you don't want any of us to acknowledge the life that we once shared, then tell us. We will abide by your wishes." She turned away as if she didn't what him to see her cry.

"Meribor."

She looked back, not bothering to hide her longings.

"Meribor." He held out his hand to her when he stood.

Instead of taking it, she rushed into his arms as if it were the most natural thing to do. As if she had truly missed him.

For a moment, he did not quite know how to respond. But his instincts took over and he hugged her tightly. For his heart was soaring with joy because an impossible prayer had been answered. They lived...

"You will always be my daughter. Your family-the family of my heart." He could say no more.

But Meribor could. "Mother will like that."

"Your father is a very tolerant man."

"Yes, he is. And I do love him. But he never understood me like you did. My father is a politician, born and raised. Mother always had to be very determined to get him to see the important things of life."

"Eline is like that. It is part of her everlasting charm."

Meribor grinned. "Did you mean it about my always being your daughter?"

Picard warily nodded. He recognized this grin of Meribor's, and what it meant.

"When Kamin is older and if he has been expressing an interest in going to the Starfleet Academy, would you care to sponsor him?"

The idea of his grandson attending the Academy pleased him greatly. "If he displays such an interest when he becomes eligible, I would be pleased to do so."

=/\=

Data detected the laughter down the corridor from Captain Picard's quarters. Unaccustomed to hearing such a commotion emanating from his captain's rooms even during the times when Captain Picard had hosted their weekly poker night on board the Enterprise E, Data's curiosity was piqued. And since he did have legitimate business with his captain, he quickened his pace to those quarters. The door automatically slid open when he entered without his even being announced.

Somewhat started by this deviation from the norm, Data entered and took note of Captain Picard's guests. Then he ran a self-diagnostic chip just to verify that this new emotion he was feeling was indeed astonishment. It was.

"Captain?" he called out toward the group of people.

Jean-Luc Picard stood to greet his guest and motioned toward an empty cushion on the sofa. "Be seated, Mr. Data."

Data sat down.

"This is Mr. Data. And Data, this is Meribor and Batai." Jean-Luc gestured toward another man. "And this reprobate is my dear old friend, Batai."

"How do you do," Data politely responded.

"Very well." The bigger Batai boomed as he walked over to the android. "What are your polite customs, Mr. Data? Do I shake your hand? Slap your back? Check your oil?"

"I follow human customs, Mr. Batai." Data extended his hand. Batai shook it. Data added, "And I do not have any oil to check. My internal fluid system consists of a highly complex…"

"Data," Picard cut in, then motioned toward the teenager. "This young man was a musician when he was my son. Batai, Mr. Data is quite an accomplished musician himself. He can help further your studies."

The young man readily smiled in agreement. "I know. I've been to Ten Forward when Sonny Clemonds and Mr. Data have been performing their duets. You have unusual choices in music, Captain Picard. I do find them interesting."

As much as I appreciate what Mr. Clemonds is doing for the Kataanians, his choice of music is not my personal preference," Picard observed.

Data informed them, "Captain Picard usually selects musical choices that are designated as Terran Classical music."

"But Sonny Clemonds says that he is an old time classic!"

Jean-Luc shook his head. "Data, perhaps you could demonstrate for our guests what I mean?"

Ten minutes later, Data played Ralph Vaughan Williams' version of 'Greensleeves' on a replicated violin. Tthe older Batai whispered to his friend, "I knew that you had to like music a bit more complex than that of Sonny Clemonds. He twangs."

"Wait until you hear a symphony by Beethoven, my old friend. You'll truly find them… inspiring. They have lasted almost as long as you have been alive."

"And we all are alive, aren't we?"

"Yes, we are," Picard whispered, suddenly very content over the way things had turned out. For who had ever wished someone to return from the grave in order to get a second chance actually had had that chance?

Later, when Deanna joined the party, she successfully hid her amazement at the way her captain was behaving. She had never really seen this side of him before, though Riker used to swear to her that this convivial, entertaining, happy man did exist outside of Starfleet.

Eline and Raydan had come to the party as well. And though Deanna was sensing a myriad of emotions from Captain Picard, none of them were inappropriate under the circumstances. And for the first time in a long time, the counselor breathed a real sigh of relief.

When Captain Pournelle showed up, she brought Beverly with her just in case anyone needed sedation-or a hangover cure since her Nully had informed her that someone had recently raided her private stash of Romulan Ale. She had the audacity of accusing Jean-Luc of doing it, especially when he offered her a glass of the forbidden potable. Captain Pournelle took it, drank to everyone's health and then related some of the tales that Guinan had divulged to her about Picard's days as an ensign. It was payback time.

Hours after that, the Starfleet officers introduced the Kataanians to the honorable game of poker. Unfortunately, for the Starfleet officers, Picard had already taught Mirabor how to play the game, long ago.

And when it was over, everyone would agree that it was a great party. And a most unusual evening.

Beverly was standing, getting ready to be the last to leave. Yet, Jean-Luc wouldn't let her.

"I haven't seen much of you," he mentioned as he handed Beverly her a lemon herbal tea.

"You know how busy I've been." Beverly's body language as she sat on the sofa, was somewhat defensive.

"I've missed you." Picard sat down next to Beverly, placing his lemon herbal tea close to Beverly's mug.

Beverly had noticed his drink of choice. "Don't tell me that you are finally following my advice…"

"Don't look so surprised, Beverly. Sometimes, I actually do drink decaffeinated beverages before going to bed." He could see that she was nervous about something. Or over someone…

"I have made my peace with my Ressikan family."

"I'd noticed."

"I even asked them to come to LaBarre, if they wished. There would be something quite fitting about that, if they did. Batai could study music in Paris…"

A small smile passed over Beverly's lips.

He noticed. "What?"

"I always suspected that you had this side to you, Jean-Luc. I remember the way you handled Wesley…"

"What side is that?"

"A loving family man, Jean-Luc."

He silently nodded in agreement with her words, took a sip of his tea, and then placed his mug down on the coffee table. "Ah, but that's the rub, isn't it? They feel like my family, but they are not."

"They are in your heart. And that is what counts. And now, instead of being only in your dreams, they are in your reality as well."

"Not really." He was silent for a while. "It was a relatively simple life in comparison to all of this…" He shrugged his shoulders and looked toward the stars.

"Is that what you want, Jean-Luc? A relatively simple life?"

"It's what I dreamt about." He removed her mug from Beverly's fingers and placed it on the table. And then he held her left hand. "But all of this is what I freely choose, Beverly…" He pressed a light kiss on the palm of her hand. Then he felt her tremble.

"Oh, Jean-Luc…" Beverly really didn't know what to do. Or, what she should say.

"When we are done here, and after I am sure that Riker hasn't altered my ship too much to his tastes, what would you say to a few weeks of shore leave? Someplace where Starfleet cannot easily find us?"

He had surprised her. He had come right out and asked her to accompany him on shore leave. "As a friend or lover?"

"It's always been your choice, Beverly. But if you choose friend, I will do my best to persuade you otherwise."

She chose to surprise him. "Persuade away, Jean-Luc… Let's get around to talking, later. A lot later…" And then she leaned over him, tugged his collar, and pulled him up to kiss him. She abruptly stopped. "Risa. We should go to Risa."

"What?" he asked as he reached for her, bereft over the loss of her embrace.

Her grin contained elements of a wicked sensuality that she had rarely displayed to any lover. "Don't you think that Risa is the last place that Starfleet Command would look for you? By the time they'd get around to checking it, our shore leave would be over."

She gazed down at him, trying to make herself a bit more comfortable in his arms. She straddled him, resting on his legs, staring at him as if she couldn't decide what to do next.

And then he saw it. A look in her eye that he hadn't seen in decades. And this time, the look was directed solely at him. She reached for his collar's clasp.

It was joy, she felt. Pure joy…

=/\=

Deanna Troi moaned. She pried open an eyelid, studied the alarm clock readout in the headboard to her bed, and said, rather weakly, "Reset alarm for sixty minutes." She moaned a little louder. Then she lifted her head, about to ask if by chance, Beverly had a hypospray conveniently placed somewhere in their quarters on board the Sakai. "I swear, Beverly, I will never drink Romulan Ale again…" Raising her head, she looked in the direction of Beverly's bed. It was neatly made, as if the doctor had not spent any time in it during the night. "I couldn't have been that drunk, not to notice Bev leaving this morning…" Deanna mumbled to her self as she dozed off again.

Ninety minutes later, Deanna was dressed, had eaten breakfast, and had managed to find a hypospray with the appropriate hangover cure dosage in the Sakai's medical locker.

"Computer, location of Dr. Beverly Crusher?" she called out.

"Dr. Crusher is in the quarters assigned to Captain Jean-Luc Picard."

Deanna just had to ask. "Did she order breakfast?"

"Breakfast was ordered twenty-two minutes ago by Captain Jean-Luc Picard."

Of course, Jean-Luc and Beverly having breakfast together was not exactly proof that anything else might have happened. And Beverly had been known to fall asleep in Jean-Luc's quarters now and then. Still, Deanna was beginning to sense something…like… satisfaction…

There was a lot of her mother in Deanna Troi, though she would rarely admit to it. "Computer, what time did Dr. Crusher enter Captain Picard's quarters?"

"Eight hundred-and thirty-three hours, Federation Standard Time."

Deanna's grin began to grow as she considered all the possibilities. And probabilities. With a cheery bounce to her step, she left her quarters to meet her first appointment, as she formulated her plans to corner Beverly at lunch.

=/\=

A few days later, Data found the time to report a discovery to Captain Picard. Some of the Kataanian stasis ships from the other communities had survived. In his preliminary search, he had found traces of Kataanian DNA in four separate races, two of which belonged to the Federation. Including Betazed.

Lwaxana Troi promptly issued a formal invitation to all of the revived Kataanians to come to live on Betazed whenever they wished.

=/\=

Picard found her standing by herself, in an upper level observation lounge in DS 5, looking out at the stars.

"Computer, privacy lock, authorization Captain Picard Alpha level 5," he ordered as he went to stand beside her. Lest she mistake his purpose, he explained, "I wish to talk to you in private, Eline. Without interruptions."

Instead of replying to his words, she kept gazing at the stars. "I never understood why you loved to look at the stars when we were together in Ressik. Every time I peered through your telescope, I only saw the places that I thought I would never know, or the suns that could turn nova on unsuspecting worlds. I didn't understand, until now." She glanced over at him. "They are truly beautiful."

"They are but cold lights in the sky if they don't come with a promise of hope for the future, Eline."

"You make that promise happen, don't you, Jean-Luc? That's really why you live in the stars, isn't it?"

He hid his reaction over the use of his first name. Then he understood that they had reached an accord.

"That is what you really do as the captain of the Enterprise. You search for hope in the stars, to find a better world. That is why you became a Starfleet officer."

"I found that world with you in Ressik. Kataan was a better world."

"No, Jean-Luc. We weren't better. We just showed you what you were missing in this life. And we gave it to you , for a time. The constant threat of imminent destruction forced my people to focus on what really matters."

"Love."

She was pleased that he did recognize this universal truth. "You learned that from us, Jean-Luc. But why have you never asked for love yourself in this reality?"

"In my own way, I have. I have close friends; people I cherish. Twenty years ago, I would have considered such people as unnecessary. Now, I know better."

"You're still alone, Jean-Luc."

"You're in my life again, Eline."

"We are leaving for more testing at your Daystrom Institute in a few hours. And, after that, to Betazed for a time. All of us have decided to go to Betazed to see if we can find our distant relatives. And to learn to adjust. Counselor Troi has convinced us that the Betazed Disciplines will help us to cope with this new reality." He only nodded in response. She wondered if he understood what she was saying. "It will be strange to be on a space ship and see where it goes instead of sleeping through the journey. I will soon be leaving you again."

"Now that I know where you are or will be-that Meribor, Batai, Kamin and all the others breathe air free from harm, I will never be that alone ever again."

"I cannot be what you might wish me to be, Jean-Luc."

He leaned forward and kissed her brow, holding her briefly as if he knew how very precious this moment was. "You are the woman of my dreams. That is all I now desire from you. I will always treasure our memories, Eline."

"As will I." She shyly smiled as she offered him some advice. "You do not have to say alone. There is another who would take my place." She was surprised to notice his sudden blushing over this statement.

"I, er, am in negotiations with the lady. She appears to be amenable. But life in this reality can be very complicated especially for those of us committed to Starfleet. On Kataan, your enemies were of nature. Here, the dangers take many forms. And a man does not always know who is his enemy."

"Beverly is not your enemy."

"No, that she is not." He grinned, just a little bit as memories from a few nights ago surfaced for a moment. "But it has taken us many years to become more than just friends. If our loving is meant to be, then it will happen on our own terms. Though I must admit that I am taking active steps to encourage the lady to make up her mind fairly soon." He thought of something. "I wonder what would have happened if I went to her quarters and declared that she had been my spouse for the past three years, like you did."

Eline softly laughed. "I will forever remember that look on your face the first night when I asked you to come to bed."

"What I really remember as shocking was the first time that you told me to put away my shoes."

"Yes, that was quite audacious of me, ordering about the great Jean-Luc Picard."

He held her closer. "You never ordered me, Eline. I always did what you asked with a willing heart."

"Except when it came to your shoes," she reminded.

"Well, if I put them away every night, my yeoman would have nothing left to do."

"I always knew that you were a considerate man." She pressed a gentle kiss against his cheek before asking, "What's a yeoman?"

"An affectation from Starfleet's past," he whispered against her hair before he kissed her temple.

Their embrace turned into something more; passionate kisses fired from their hearts of long ago, elevating the lovers into another realm.

"Eline…" was his rasping cry as he puller her closer.

"Eline…" was his prayer as he lost himself in her eyes one last time.

"Eline…" was his plea as he kissed her goodbye.

Reality shifted for the final time with their last kiss. It was as if they were once again standing under a starry sky in Ressik, making plans for a nursery…

And when they parted, they both knew that they could never feel this way again. Not in this lifetime.

And when their pulses calmed, and they both could look at each other without a rushing need to be in each other's arms, they knew that their time together was truly ended.

He held her hand as he spoke, not willing to relinquish everything at once. "Thank you for showing me another way. Those memories will always be treasured by me."

He knew that it had not been their kiss that he would regret. Only its loss of the promise of what could have been…

There was little left to be said.

"Kamin, go carefully…"

"I will. I promise. And you must promise that as well. If you should ever need me, I will come."

A few tears fell against the palm of his hand that she still held. She slowly, sadly brought it to her lips, a gesture that she had done countless times before. She trembled as she kissed it.

When she surrendered his touch, he went to the lounge door and tapped in an opening code.

She fled into the darkened corridor. She did not look back. Only the echoes of her thoughts whispering through his heart were his faint proof that she'd ever once more been in his arms.

"My darling…"

The End.

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